i dont have much confidence for a1 though. cus i feel that my paper1 aint that good enough although i completed all the pages they provided. i jex hope fer an a1 although it's kind of like 'fly away'. worries are over, and now awaiting for the results.

feel so touched as i received lots of sms-es from people. hehhs. thanks fer your support and i hope i wont let you down. ((:

teevee teeevee! hahahas. after Os everything's like teevee. im addicted to one more show again. 'it all started from a kiss'. yeapps a japanese drama. although i watched it two years ago, im still simply addicted to it. muahahas. so hilarious. it's highly recommended. 2.30pm channel 8 every weekday. i sound like advertising here x.X

lalalas. going out soon with the clique. i'll update some other time. xP

got back mie report book today. there's improvement but not really satisfied. my parents said nothing. hehs. except mie mum, whom doesn't believe what i say and what im trying to explain. it wrote that im a conscientious girl. ehh! i remember when i was in p5, i was hoping my teacher will say that to me. = i dont know why, but it's always on my mind. lol. wish fulfiled.? yeah. but not entirely. that does not matter at all, what matters most is my Os result! lalaas. =p then after school went fer lunch with woonchang, longcheng, kahheng, chinmay, juan and kahheng. mr tan hk came after we were about to finish our meal. talk talk talk..okay la. quite fun.

went jurong point after watching teevee. saw fluer! she's so sexayy u know. -grins- and she's getting prettier! then urms. saw my son - eugene when i was about to board the bus.

reached home. had tuition. it was kinda lame? i kept asking stupid questions like, 'why human must breathe in oxygen?'. and my teacher was like, 'you might as well ask me why chicken lay eggs'. LOL. okay im lame but then, i really curious about those questions ;X

was feeling depressed yesterday night. cried. but baby's there fer me. so yeah, i managed to feel better. somehow guilty cause i seemed to be complaining to him. somehow out of control. sorry babyy )):

hmms. im gonna wake up late tomorrow. haven't been sleeping well for months. my intensive chinese training should be starting tomorrow afternoon. hehhs =p good luck people. and to me too. xP

i gotta prepared myself for mie chinese Os next monday. mrs ang told me there's a high possibility that i'll score a b3 for my chinese Os even though i never failed to score an a1 for that. the risk is high, high and high. and she said if i really got that, i'll cry like hell. yeah i will ): i couldn't deny that im sad upon hearing this. in fact, i had already prepared for it. there are many cases that people who normally score a1 will score a b3 in the Os. shruggs. hrmms. i think i should take this chinese Os seriously. just completed a few hundred of words which means five pages. im left with twenty five more pages. =/ i'll be prayinn hard. i just want an a1.

i miss him ):

hrms. my mid years aint good. english c5. chinese a1. emaths a1. amaths b4. chemistry b3. physics d7. combined humans d7. geography b4. L1R4 fourteen. L1R5 eighteen. its hard to qualify fer that particular jc. i jex have to work harder. besides, chinese Os is around the corner. jex a week fer me to catch up. wish me luckk. (:

saw someone whom i lost contact with. she treated me coffee bean drink. she's the manager there and its like..i cant recognise her. yeapps. got her contact number. she's someone who looks after me since young and she's someone whos like my childhood friend. i admire her though. she's been through many obstacles in life. i think it reflects me. hmms. gonna catch up with her one day. i think thats the only happy thing happened to me today.

everything's really screwed. im really going to lose control of myself. i dare not confide in anyone. i dare not tell. i dare not ask. i did nothing. but im prayinn. seriously i dont know what im saying right now. >.< i think i'll update next time.

life won't be the same for me anymore, no more. wells. my last paper was pretty okay. i didn't study for it as im quite sick. ms salinah talked to me during the papers. she was asking me this, 'is that affecting your performance?' i started to wonder what she meant and i felt that i didn't do well for my mid year, perhaps. after our paper, i took a form which im going to sign up for the singapore poly experience in june. received my physics results too. it was 75/120. i got home and received an sms from ms salinah. she asked me to call her immediately and i was told that i didn't do well, that aint my marks. besides, i was told to write a letter, which is known as a report. she gave me support and told me not to be sad. obviously i will but im strong enough to overcome it.

went east coast park with lizhen, brandon, soonsiong and jessica. i started writing the report while looking at the sea. yeapps i did think of some matters too. i decided to give up something and go for something which concerns my life. it hurts when im preparing to give up something which i love. dont ask me what is it. just give me a little privacy? heh thanks.

rode the bicycle for 2 hours. i fell thrice and had bruises. till six plus we headed to je and played arcade. bought dinner back and brandon accompanied me as he's taking the same bus as me. we chatted a lot, enjoyed. i know i aint feeling well today, im just hanging on? yeah. but i wont let my emotions overcome me. perhaps, the reason why im sad, not only because of that piece of news, partly because of that matter which i have to force myself to give up. sigh. and thanks the people who accompanied me today. they made super lots of jokes and i laughed a lot. :)

finally a day for me to relax. well. my papers ended at 9am. all the way till 1.30pm i was using my computer, yeapps doing this layout :) watched teeevee after that. hotelier! yayys! and i was late. i supposed to meet the clique at 3.30pm and i reached at four? lols. they made a bet somemore. in the end lianhong and jiting lost, wasted their one buck. went arcade and played some game. pearly jie came later. we stoned around..saw janet! hahas. i was wondering whether she's joining singapore idol as she's has a beautiful voice! really! unlike me ):

at around five plus, we went jurong west to eat cooked food? ordered 5 dishes. it cost us around 45 bucks though. yummy. delicious! ;p saw collen and her family. urms. then we walked past city harvest church. supposing to go in, but in the end didnt. saw another schoolmate there. later we headed to jie's house till 11.30pm? we took piccs from her webcam. its at the bottom! at first it was boring. but then. till late night, talked to zhenguang. confided in him. hahas. thanks wor. thanks for listening to my nonsense ;x mr koh sms-ed zhenguang telling him he has passed his physics! congrats wor. and we sms-ed him back by saying, 'we at your house nearby, i treat you coffee wan.?' and he replied, 'IM MR KOH LEH'. LOL. he thought we sms-ed the wrong person. and he supposed that jie's teaching us maths at that time. = then jiting was making a tag, which made up of many beads. i tried it after that. it was tough. needs lots of effort you know. i made two, which were 'LOVE' and 'YOU'. im so satisfied with my art pieces =D especially the 'YOU', we tried THRICE. i think im gonna give one tag to someone. hahas. till i find my love? LOL. see first. wahahas. the pics are below. nice? -grins-

till eleven thirty, took a cab with zhenguang and jiting. they treated me. thanks wor. reached home and dad was waiting for me. he was quite angry though. actually i wanted to call back home but i scared i'll wake them up. anyways. he has turned in. hahas. enjoyed enjoyed. but im feeling lethargic now. having a bad headache )): oh yeah. my latest snapshots of my clique updated. it's on the right xD

my art pieces! yayys!

jiting's art piece!

my productions

the same too :)

im sleeping with this cute toy ;p

taken from jie's webcam!

yesterday was hell. rushed to IOH in the afternoon and came back rushing through my geography. i tell you it was HELL. i studied 5 hours continuously? never in my life i studied so many hours at a go. not only that, i became too stressed up. never in my life i felt so stressed up before. i flared up and threw the books on the floor. my sister came into my room and studied yet i yelled at her asking her to get out of my room. she was reluctant to do so so i continued to yell at her. but after a few minutes later, i apologised. she gave me a muack and i felt better. lol. mum came and talked to me too. then i showed her the pile of study notes i need to memorise. she got a shock? and walked out of my room, tongue-tied. i came to realise what has gotten into me. i dont get angry easily yet i actually flared up? dots. super super duper stress! but luckily, it's over.

jex chatted with babyy. lalaas. he said i shouldnt be so worked up, yeah i shouldnt ): and violent, yeah i am ): anyways, im left with chemistry, physics and geography paper1, including amaths paper2. weee. so relaxed. alryte. gonna study for my chemistry paper1. tmr only one paper! yes! ONE! reminds me of jolene darling. i miss eu! muackk!

you made my life filled with happiness ever since you came into mie world.(:

I do not feel lonely even if I don’t own anything
Because love and the world are all in my dream
Because I have you waiting for me, I can tolerate anything
I have not parted with you in my heart
In the same time, with the same memory,
and let’s share it now
Hope that in not too distant place
In moment of happiness, you will come
back to me to wipe away the tears
You left only love, not pain
With you in my heart, I am not alone anymore
Do you know that because I have you waiting
I can tolerate anything
With you in my heart, in a place where there is not separation
You are now with me again

i miss eu :(

hmms. school was fun and relaxed. after school had a celebration for jinhong. it was successful. and that creamy yummy chocolate fudge cake. meowww! ;x we made his face into a kitten. heh. and kor revenged on me. hahas. fun fun! i smacked him hard too. aww. poor thing. lalalas.

plan to revise through literature later. im pretty worried for my english paper 1. i just simply hope i won't blank out during my papers. alright. i'll do my best. we'll see, eh? :)

jie's back from her chalet. weee. so happy to see her back again -mwah- talked to her and my babyyy. he's so busy. i wonder how he manages to cope with two tuitions in a day. listen up, you shall remember this. i believe you can and you can, okays? i'll be here. :)

oh well. i shall start mugging now. couldn't afford to waste anymore time =( good luck all. just believe in yourself and do your best and you will succeed. love you. mwah.

maths lesson was relaxing. we did commonwealth sec paper and that's like, no comments. we did compre during chinese lessons. after recess, playtime! no teachers teaching.. ms lee had fever and mr tan on leave? my class turned to be a zoo! a relief-teacher - ms oh, came and some of us laughed rudely at that 'oh'. she was very stern saying, 'i suppose this is the best class in the school, so you should be obedient'. instead, we made a lot of noise and she couldn't be bothered with us in the end. mr nazri came too and told us how noisy we were, the noise could be heard two classrooms away. but yeah, we couldn't be bothered at all. as for me, sitting down chatting with lc, bryan, juan and kh. studying for physics! peng. went for lunch with the same clique. had fun yeah. then slept in the bus on my way home. feeling really tired. at around six plus had piano lessons. supposing to have tuition and i've clean forgotten about it. but my tuition teacher was sick. so postponed :) hmm. then studied physics again. i'm feeling really lethargic, i dont know why. drinking chicken essence doesn't help at all.

everyone panicks as exams are around the corner. i feel numb. i feel nothing at all. have been slacking a lot lately. just played with my lil` sis. heh. she screamed with this, 'mummy! jie molested me!' -.-" since when? =|

did some housework today and played on the piano. i dont know why i keep singing today. it's not because i'm happy, not at all. mentally insane? perhaps. yesterday night was hell. i almost cried. but i took a look at my crying sister, instead of breaking down i hugged her. jasmine was feeling really down and vexed at that moment, but she felt better after the cry. she aint feeling better than anyone of us. but yeah, i managed to cheer her up a little. as for me, sigh. i must confess i need someone there for me at that moment. but then. some sort of insane in me, and i coped myself in my room and studied. sigh.

oh well well. i'm feeling a little better now. somehow. i'm really tired and had enough of all these. but there's nothing i can do. oh yeah. talk about happy thoughts. :) we are going to change classrooms tomorrow! weee. finally finally. after four years, finally there's a year to have a classroom at the second floor? it's like all the years i've been climing up the stairs like hell. oh yea :) weee. oh by the way, happy birthday to my dearest classmate, geokhong. gave her a hug this morning and jialin (her 'laogong') was jealous. ;x -grins-

talking to sherm baby now, and of course, shan dear :) this notti baby neva study. hmmpfs. but then im gonna listen to him playing on the piano the next time i see him. -grins- and finally, there's someone who shares the same interest as me - dance. dance is my life. it's everything to me. :)

im getting addicted to the song goodbye by air supply. and the reason by hoobastank. alright. im going off to sleep now, or study. goodnights. mwahs :)

so the four of us went for a movie - 50 first dates. jie treated half for me. thanks jie. the movie was hilarious and simply enjoyed. super funny and i laughed till stomach pain ah. serious. imagine to have such a guy like the actor. how sweet :)

got information that a 17 year old guy got stabbed to death at westmall when we were in jp. i was thinking that the assailant has some mental problems. a normal human will not resort to such thing aint it. dont know what's in his brains anyway. poor thing. sigh.

umm. after the show, we went to have supper. then arcade. oh yeah. gotta know someone new. a friend of jie, beatrice? yeapps. nice girl. reached home at 11pm. lianhong accompanied me for a while and talked about some prbs on our way back. that's all bah. goodnights :)

got back my literature test and got a shock. yeah. i'm so thrilled that i've passed. it gives me the motivation to carry on again. however, i scored umm. a2 for both amaths and emaths and b3 for geography. that's pretty bad and it's still a distance from my target. and i failed my permutation and combination amaths test =( hmm. as usual. went recess and was with the same old group. jinhong kor said i looked pale. i started to think of it. i'm growing weaker and weaker each day. i just hope the 'O' levels will end soon.

as i was about to go up to my class after recess, darrick came and he's so 'nice' giving me a massage. it's painful and i had a hard time after that. blahh. i shall throw it back to him on his birthday as it's arriving soon. -evil grin-

today's my sister and my chinese birthday. yeap both of us share the same chinese birthday every year. how great. =D i love spending time with my family and i do cherish it. although sometimes it hurts because of some personal matters, i'll just hang on even if i'm losing grip. ohh well. shrugs. i'm just too tired of all these.

updated
just came back home from celebration. well. my family and i went to jurong point and had dinner at pizza hut. we had hawaiin lover! =DD and we were bloated. after dinner, i received an sms from mr koh. he told me not to lose heart and fight for it. be like pearly jie who has the fighting spirit. and it's like i replied him saying that i will fight till the end and jie did give me a lot of guidance. hahas. i sound like sms-ing a friend of mine instead of a teacher =| umm. mum bought me a watch which cost 79 bucks while she bought herself a crystal watch for hundred plus. we can share it anyways. i like her watch as there's a crystal heart in it. so unique. reached home at ten thirty. shrugs. guess what. i think i saw someone familiar when i was about to step into the shopping mall. he's the one who changed my life for many years, making an impact in my life. sigh. but i really enjoyed my day today, especially the watch. ;)